I think I missed something on the show. I am SO confused by Willa & Holden's relationship. So any explanation would be helpful.

According to the show, Willa grew up watching Holden and they had a "relationship" in the beyond world. So have they been together for 12 years? Their relationship (in the real world) doesn't reflect that. For example: Holden doesn't seem all that in love with her, with his contradictory feelings for Charlie. Does he not remember yet? It just doesn't seem like its a 12 year relationship. Also, Willa asked/mentioned "if his first time was with Charlie". Did they never have sex in those 12 years? The relationship just doesn't make any sense. Any theories or clarification help (maybe I missed something)?